


Real

by navaan



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 13:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver feels that fitting back into the life at home is harder than he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Real

**Author's Note:**

> Set early in the season, shortly after Diggle joins Oliver's cause.

The first time Ollie woke up in his old room he wasn't sure if this was real or just another dream. Maybe he wasn't awake at all, but had fallen asleep on the island and _this_ was the dream?

He'd been gone for so long that the only thing that felt real anymore were his nightmares. Nightmares were something he could believe in. Being back home seemed like a a good dream, too good to be true, too good to be real.

But he needed to focus - couldn't allow himself to live this dream, couldn't allow himself to lose sight of what was important.

He'd had years to plan what he would do, would _have_ to do, when he finally got back home. And now he was back and his focus was on what he would do next. There was no time to ponder anything else.

For a while he was so preoccupied with his crusade; so preoccupied in fact that he could pretend that real life – his family, his friends and _home_ \- were still nothing more than pleasant dreams. In all his planning it had never occurred to him how hard it would be to fit back in, to return to being Oliver Queen, son, brother, friend and irresponsible heir to a fortune. It was much harder to reconnect with people than he could ever have expected – even the people he loved and had missed for so long.

But reconnecting would be necessary. He needed to pretend he was still the same harmless deviant who'd gone missing five years before. And he needed to do it convincingly. Not everything could be explained away with a mention of his time _alone_ on an island.

Even now, standing in the middle of a crowded room, he was not feeling like he was really part of it.

The party around them was a mere backdrop for him. It might all as well be another dream. He took a sip of his drink and watched Thea laugh, all grown up and looking like a pretty girl, who was about to become a troubled young woman. Their mother smiled at her, fond, but also a little worried. When she looked over to where he was standing, her expression didn't change, but he noticed the way her eyes lingered on him sadly.

This was his family and he loved them with every fiber of his being and wanted them to be happy. But time hadn't stopped for them either and things had changed too much for Ollie. He couldn't just go back to being Oliver, because _that_ part of him had been left behind on a little island and would never return.

“Your family wants you back,” Diggle said behind him, not looking at him, but watching the people around them. “You should try to spend more time with them. Occasionally.”

“They have me back now. That'll have to do,” he answered. His expression remained carefully blank and he knew that had become pretty much a standard for him. It frustrated the people around him. His mother was trying to accept it, but was always searching his eyes for whatever emotions were under the surface, for a sign of the son she had lost. Thea raged at him sometimes when he looked at her like that. Sweet little and now messed up Thea, who was still trying to figure out how to really talk to him at all. The ghost who'd returned home and was nothing like her memory, or too much like her memory to make her accept how he'd changed.

“They have you. They don't have you _back_ ,” Diggle told him. “They need a chance to learn more about the real you. The new you.”

“That's not possible. You know that, Digg. They can never know.” He'd had years to think this through and in the end it was simple. Ollie had made a decision, a choice – and his family did know nothing about any of it. And if he could help it, it would stay that way.

“They love you. That's real. You love them. That's real. They are worried about you. That's real too.”

He didn't sigh. He didn't role his eyes. He didn't look away.

Diggle didn't look away either.

“It feels like a nice dream to me,” Oliver finally said and blinked, surprised that he'd admitted as much. “But I have a _real_ job to do.”

Later – much later – strong arms were holding him against a strong chest. He was kissing Diggle, while the other man was pushing him up against a desk. It was messy and fast and Ollie felt like they should really think this through, before it messed up their working relationship. But then teeth were leaving a trail of careful nips along his jaw and all thoughts were leaving him. For the moment he could just go with it.

Diggle pressed into him, kissed the side of his throat and then nipped at a particular sensitive spot beneath his ear. He groaned.

“Does this feel real?” Diggle whispered, voice breathless but controlled.

“Yes. Yes, it does,” he said, chocking out the words. And for the first time in weeks he felt a strong connection to anyone. He pulled Diggle down for a messy kiss, biting down on his lower lip hard. Diggle growled and pushed against him. His own breath was coming faster now and he pushed against Diggle, meeting his thrust and pushing against him hard. “God,” he whispered.

“Not like a dream?” Diggle asked and reached down to grab his waist and pull him to the floor in one fluid movement.

His elbow came down on the floor hard, but the pain didn't bother him, another sharp reminder of where he was and what they were doing. And now Ollie had far more important things on his mind. “No. Very, very real.” He bent forward to draw Diggle into another kiss, hot and fast and aggressive enough to bruise both their lips. When he pulled back for air, he said: “I think I'm done talking.”

Diggle smirked at him – and that expression shouldn't have been as sexy or appealing as it turned out to be. But his eyes were twinkling with amusement and Oliver had never even realized how much he loved people looking at him in a way that didn't make him second guess the thoughts behind the eyes. “Then let's stop talking,” Diggle suggested.

“That was the plan,” he agreed and allowed Diggle to pull him close, allowing himself to get lost in the sensation.  



End file.
